This is the last week in Staci Schofield's life. Her birthday is on Monday, which is also the day she plans to die. Poetic, seeing as her mother disappeared on the night of her own birthday. But when a popular guy from school, Rush, befriends Staci, will her plans change?
Rush sees demons clinging to Staci and nothing has worked so far to help her. What will make a difference in her life? A friend, an intercessor? How do you help someone move from 'take my life' to 'Lord, preserve me'?
School will be out in another two months. Then what will happen? The days would stretch on endlessly, mornings and nights. I couldn’t escape myself. I was there and I was ugly, unloveable.
The heat of the day beat on the tracks. I sat on them, feeling the metal and its contours beneath my shorts. I laid my legs out straight, parallel to the wooden ties, then scooted back and let them hang over the track, my butt on the gravel. Was this how it would feel? The heat of the heavy metal, but with a force I couldn’t imagine…ending it all.
My hands, palm down, rested hard on the gravel. I dug them in further, painful and biting. It felt good to feel, really feel something. There were moments with Rush that I actually believed there was hope, someone could care, but if my mom could leave, so could he. Or my dad for that matter. Why get involved?
It was easier to hope for death than for life. Death was quick, easy, permanent. Life expected too much. Too many moments, hours, and days. They stretched out like the threat of unending pain and torture. Why should I care? Why should I want to care? My God, to live with myself that long, to struggle with doubts of my own sanity, always with the feeling of impending doom and overanalyzing each thought for signs of Mom’s illness. Dad would probably feel relief, in the end.
God. What of God? Where was He? This Jesus they had talked about at Grace Youth. Wow, they were really gung-ho about Him.
I laughed aloud but suddenly sobered. The wind picked up and blew my hair across my eyes. I heard a whisper. Was it my name on the wind?
Click on the book cover above to see the book on Amazon.